My roommate has started his own blog on neocities so I have decided to jump in alongside him and make my own blog! I meant to since I started this website but better late than never!
TBW
I have been hanging out with a guy I met at the library a few weeks ago. I haven't been updating this website much due to mostly spending my time away from the computer. He's a beginner musician like how I am with art and such. The days have been dragging on with a sense of dread and calm at the same time. I just kinda wish I could get better rest.
I haven't been doing much regarding updating this website due to me meeting people in the local area and just hanging out with them instead of keeping myself cooped up in my room all day talking online. The situation with the clown doll has calmed down a tiny bit as I have slept in the room with it and nitenit has told me that it hasn't gone near me. I've also been watching a lot of the viva pinata show because one of my irls (who is a pinata) suggested I watch it. It's alright nothing too good but it is funny sometimes, life has just been slow recently it kinda feels like the mario kart wii wi-fi menu theme, rhythmic but fast paced and has spice, but not too much that warrents me making another post here. Nitenit has just been lounging around every day not doing anything other than being inanimate around the clown doll which is odd behavior for him. Sat's been quiet but mostly lovey dovey and Coopert well actually me and Coopert we have been hanging out more but he's just mostly quiet, more quiet than Sat but that's normal for him. I was thinking of going out to the store with Sat later this month or maybe getting him to watch me draw since it can get boring being alone.
I read Nitenit's website... Oh my godddd. I have been scared of going into my bedroom because of it while Nitenit just says in there having a fun time with that clown. I haven't updated this website cause of it since my computer is in my bedroom. Unless it comes alive around me or is willing to show itself to me I'm sleeping in the living room. So that's my update... I'm probably gonna get some stuff out of my bedroomroom so I can sleep more comfortbly on the couch. I've also started clearing out the back room so maybe eventually I can use it for art projects or something like that.
I finally got to sleep tonight and I finally had a dream after years of not remembering them. This one was unique though as I was almost fully lucid throughout it, I was in a blue void filled with bubbles like the background on this page (funny coincidence). I was struggling to swim in this void which acted like a giant body of water where I could just float if I stopped moving. All the while a orange fox was trying to make me stay still in the water like he knew this place. It took a moment to make me calm enough to stop kicking, but after that I felt the warm brush of water against my bare chest, except for the lack of moisture and ability to breathe. The fox that swam alongside was wearing a pair of glasses with a metal frame and a silver necklace with a glowing gem in the center of it, it took a moment of looking him up and down seeing his hazel eyes staring into my eyes. The way his jeans seamed to float with the leg openings being open allowing to see the gray fur his legs were coated in. It felt strange, I recognized them but I didn't. I knew with my soul they were me, but they weren't exactly "me". It was like a funhouse mirror where I saw a distorted verison of myself, a facsimile that was my pure essance of who I am, or was. I took a deep breath and asked who he was, I was in disbelief that the other person was myself but he confirmed what I was thinking. He was me, or at least somewhat me. We talked to each other for a bit, talking about what we doing with our life. He was starting a group to protect Riverville from anomalies, odd since most people can do that themselves. We talked about our friends, we seem to have the same wherever he is from (that is if he isn't a subconcious creation). He talked about Cassie, which I haven't talked about her on this website but she's like my female form that can split off from me like a seperate person taking my more energetic elements away when she's split from me. It felt weird hearing her as her own person and not just me x2, I didn't know what to say other than "yeahs" when it came to talking about her. He kept trying to steer the conversation towards himself. I relented to him eventually but that was almost as soon as I started to wake up. I immediatly grabbed my phone to write the plot beats of what we talked about and it took some stewing to remember what I wrote down here. I liked what he wore though, seems odd in retrospect he wore jeans due to me having sensory issues with them but I might try to find similar clothes for myself to wear since I liked his whole vibe, maybe I'll try dying my fur orange lol.
Nitenit has been running his blog since early March, it's a cute little website that I helped him find the gifs that are on the page. He's a sweet little guy, big heart. A few days ago I took him thrifting, I don't usually do that because he starts freaking out about being "abandoned again" which oftentimes I have to comfort him which makes me cry when I have to tell him that I'd never leave him. He's such a small soft boy, I don't know what I'd do without him. But basically, he saw a doll of this weird plump clown jester like goat coyote sorta thing that kinda ragdolls and shakes like it has beads inside of it. He's brought a few plushies and dolls home when I have taken them to the thrift store but they've all been inanimate including this one but I kinda get the jibblies from the clown. It has the same kinda smile as Nitenit, sharp toothy smile with a zipper pull tab at the end of it. The weathering and the whole kinda design including the pull tab screamed mid-late 90's. Plushies started being given pull zippers on parts of their body due to the idea that they could be used to facilitate sewn on designs to become actual parts of the body instead of just being the regular "blink one second and the food is gone" deal. Ofc the pull zipper worked, it could even be used as a regular zipper in case you wanted to shut a noisy plush up (useful with Nitenit sometimes lol). The main thing that bothers me about the clown doll is it's eyes which are a hollow star like pattern, I can kinda feel it looking into my soul. Nitenit doesn't know if it's alive and I'm not even sure my suspisions are correct but that kinda makes it worse. The idea that this thing watches me sleep at night without me knowing it's state of conciousness freaks me out, like a shrodingers cat but I could see the cat move any second. I've kinda lost sleep over this thing and I haven't been able to sleep since yesterday. By the time I'm typing this, it's almost 3am and Nitenit is still up as he usually is hours after I sleep. Nitenit has suggested that I sleep with it for a night as "exposure therapy" but I don't really like that Idea since if it IS alive it could bite a chunk out of my arm while I'm napping! Nitenit is all like "but i'll wake you up if that happens" and i'm sitting there thinking "how's a pile of fabric, cotton and a foam/plush/plastic brain/heart (haven't opened him up to see inside and I'm not particullary interested to see what his specific Anima looks like but I think it's a foam heart). I have felt around the clown doll for an Anima but it feels like nothing is inside of it which means it could not have one orrrr it could just have a plush Anima. I actually do feel better writing this down like Nitenit suggested.